There’s nothing on tv at 4am

27Jun06

I’m awake at 4am again. Working. Why? I have no idea. I don’t get paid overtime, I don’t get any special treatment for being online and working, I don’t get anything except more grief. So why do I do it? I have no idea. I hate it when this happens, because I feel so bad for wasting my life away working, but then if I don’t, I go to work the next day and I feel guilty for not doing any work because I feel like everyone else is and everyone is depending on me for stuff. That’s obviously an overstatement, I have no idea whether people are working, I have no idea whether people are waiting on me for stuff, I just feel like I need to do more because I always feel behind.

There is really a fine line between workaholism and dedication. Sometimes people who work hard are seen as really dedicated, but then different people who do the same just seem like wack jobs that have no life and can only work to make themselves happy. I don’t feel like either of those. I do have a life, and I don’t feel like I’m completely dedicated to my work. But somehow I feel like I’m just saying those things to make myself feel better that I’m not spending more quality time outside of work doing time-worthy things and I just spend my “free” time doing stuff that I couldn’t get done between 9 and 5. Or maybe I really love work and I really want to accomplish things, regardless of what may or may not come out of it. Who knows. But I really need to get some sleep.


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2 Responses to “There’s nothing on tv at 4am”  

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  1. 1 beav on June 27, 2006 said:

    I think you need a raise. And your own company. If you always feel behind yet you work your ass off, that means your superiors aren’t doing much to make you feel your work is appreciated. Always blame the parents.

  2. 2 Darren on July 16, 2006 said:

    Well at least when you work late, you actually do work.

    The worst thing is when people who don’t work much at all, any time of the day, make a big deal about the one time in the year which they do. Like those management people who send an email out at 2.30am just so people will go “wow look at them, they’re do dedicated”.

    Maybe you should just try that werid sleep experiment were you sleep for 20mins every 3 hours, but never have a proper sleep.


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